Welcome to our latest monthly column, “Mom on the Street” (ya know, like “Man on the Street”).
Each month, we’ll be asking moms just like you for a slice of their sage advice, insider tips or
tried-and-true wisdom in the hopes that their unique brand of mothering inspires, assuages, calms,
strengthens and even amuses you.
Vicki Glembocki is the author of The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth about Becoming a Mom. Finally (www.vickiglembocki.com). She’s also a writer for Philadelphia magazine and a columnist for Women’s Health. Here’s what this Philadelphia mother of two has to say:
 “‘I’m going to India in September!’
I’d been saying this to people since February, long before I even committed to take the trip my friend had planned and then invited me on to go along for the ride. So I kept saying it out loud—‘I’m going to India in September’—in order to get used to the idea of traveling halfway around the world to another continent for two whole weeks, leaving my 3-year-old and 1-year-old daughters at home with Daddy, so that I could feel inspired. That’s why I wanted to go: to get inspired, to do yoga, and see the Taj Mahal and inhale all that Indian spirituality and prajna and curry chicken. I wanted to do something for myself.
Of course, when I admitted this to myself, a thought inevitably crashed into my brain: You are a bad mom—because, really, what good mom would take off and leave her babies for two weeks? What good mom would choose to do this? For fun? For herself? For inspiration? That’s just not the way it’s supposed to work. We’re supposed to sacrifice our lives and ourselves during those early years. We’re supposed to put the kids first—always. Isn’t that how it’s spelled out in all the baby books? I mean, the books tell you to get out, yes. They tell you to do something for yourself like take a yoga class at your gym … and be home in an hour, right?
It’s a tough thing—becoming a mom. It’s tough because, no matter how you slice it, you have to let go of part of your old self. You have to let go of some of the control you had, and some of the freedom, and, certainly, some of the swear words. And maybe you also have to let go of the job, or the career, or the sex life, or the tennis league, or the body you worked out hard for since you were 22. But mostly, you have to let go of the image you had of yourself. You might still be that woman—independent, driven, adventurous—but there isn’t room for her to be center stage anymore. You have to make room for the new you: the mother. You have to give the mother in you space to figure out who she is, to do her thing, to gain her foothold. My problem was that I was allowing her to take over—the mother. And I realized that I wasn’t sure if there was anything but mother left in me.
So I started saying it: ‘I’m going to India in September.’ But I realize now, in September, that the journey was more important than the destination. My real inspiration came in the months leading up to now, when I came to terms with the fact that, more than anything else, I wanted balance. I wanted the old me and the new me to start getting along, instead of tug-of-warring each other for real estate.
And, so, I spent every weekend this summer at the pool with my girls. We all had our toenails painted hot pink. I helped Drew learn to walk and I helped Blair learn to pedal a big wheel. We sang ‘Old McDonald’ every time we got into the minivan.
And I also did another thing: I bought my plane ticket to Delhi.” |
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Natascia Carr is the founder of Little Carr (www.littlecarr.com), a fashion-meets-function breast-feeding accessory. Here’s what this Trumbull, Conn., mother of two has to say:
“After experiencing my first fall in the Northeast last year, quickly I would respond that everything about the fall inspires me. The leaves changing from beautiful green to the most vibrant red and orange colors you can imagine, picking pumpkins with my children, enjoying an afternoon siesta on the hammock and watching the squirrels bury as many acorns as they can find to prepare for winter all top my list of inspirations of the fall season. However, the fall of 2008 is extra special as my husband and I are expecting our third child. Now when I think of the fall, I think too of God’s blessings and of new life.
The changes that happen in the fall will give way to a new son and new inspirations for not only my family, but my business as well. Little Carr LLC will flourish this fall, as I will be able to promote the Cover-Me strap firsthand. Having finished nursing my daughter when I started manufacturing the Cover-Me, I addressed concerns of new breast-feeding moms with my experiences from my first two children. This fall, I’ll be a breast-feeding mom and will be able to share my experiences with my customers. I will be the mom at little league and soccer games using the Cover-Me strap to nurse my son comfortably and confidently.
Breast-feeding is as natural as the leaves changing in the fall, and we should all embrace it.” |
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Brenda Berg is the founder of Scandinavian Child (www.scichild.com), a high-design, ultra-hip kiddie gear company. Here’s what this Raleigh, N.C., mother of two has to say:
“This fall I’m inspired by the possibilities because, for me, fall is a time for all things new. I know that is the definition of spring, but it is the opposite for me. Ever since the birth of my daughter, Kelly, and the simultaneous launch of my company, fall has come to signify the start of a new year: a new school year, a new holiday season and a new collection of products to launch. This fall, the new beginnings are even more significant because both of my children are starting a new phase in school, with my son, Anton, entering preschool and Kelly starting at a new elementary school. I’m looking forward to watching them take these big steps and seeing them discover for themselves the possibilities that new experiences inspire.
Additionally, this fall, my company, Scandinavian Child, takes big steps alongside Kelly and Anton as we settle into a new office space and prepare to launch several new products. I’m inspired every day by the creativity of the manufacturers I work with, and each fall I have the privilege of helping them introduce great products to retailers and parents at a big industry trade show. Just like the start of a new school year, the show reconnects me with old friends and gets the new year, as it were, off to an exciting start. It’s a busy time and the new experiences are made even sweeter because they’re coupled with old favorites: the delicious smells of the crisp fall air and the joy of rediscovering cozy sweaters and knee-high boots.” |
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