DAD ON THE STREET

Ira Apfel is the author of Dads, Teach Your Child About Football and the forthcoming Dad’s Job, both published by WonderDads (www.wonderdads.com). He lives in Washington, D.C., with his wife and two young daughters.

“My ideal Father’s Day? Cheesesteak with whiz and unlimited access to ESPN. Only kidding, honey!

I used to fantasize about that scenario, and not just for Father’s Day. I found being a new dad incredibly stressful and dreamed only of escape. Even the smallest parental task, like getting my baby daughter ready for a trip to the supermarket, was an enormous drain. How could it take half an hour to pack a diaper bag is a question I still ask myself.

I have to admit I’ll get a kick when my daughters Sophie (age 8) and Isabel (5) surprise me with handwritten and colored Father’s Day cards (and my wife doesn’t even have to prompt them!). I will have slightly more input than usual on what to eat, where to go, what time I can rise in the morning, how long I can nap in the afternoon, and what to watch on television. My mom and sister will call to follow up on the Father’s Day cards they sent me, and I’ll brief them on the day’s events. I’ll call or text my brother to find out what he did on Father’s Day. He’s got two daughters and a baby son; I can’t even imagine what it would be like for my wife and I to be outnumbered by our kids.

Father’s Day, then, is not so much about going through a checklist of my favorite things. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what I have—and what my loved ones have in me. As the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts.

I’m not sure what changed my perspective. Certainly the death of my father a few years back got me thinking about not taking loved ones for granted. Father’s Day definitely grew more appealing as I made the transition from buying Father’s Day cards to receiving them.

But I think my wife, Gina, had the biggest impact. Gina works longer hours outside the home, but she’s much better at being engaged as a parent when she is with our girls. I’ve noticed and I’m trying to do a better job of filtering out the usual distractions. This past January, Gina did something that few people actually do—she stuck to her New Year’s resolution. She stepped on our dusty, old treadmill in our basement one January night after the kids went to sleep and started walking. And walking. And sometimes running—at very steep inclines. She started eating better, too. As a guy, I took this as a challenge. She does 30 minutes on the treadmill? I’ll do 35. Set the incline at 8.5? I’ll do 9. Eat more salads? Yeah, yeah…

Most of the time, Gina wins this imaginary competition. What can I say? She’s just more diligent than I. But we’ve both lost weight and we feel better about ourselves. And I stopped fantasizing about being a couch potato on Father’s Day. Because there comes a point when you have to get off the sofa and start running. And I’m not kidding about that.”

Tone Thyne is a writer, director and producer at Little Airplane Productions (www.littleairplane.com) in New York City. He has produced hit preschool television series such as Go, Baby! and The Wonder Pets! and is a writer and director on the company’s new series, 3rd & Bird. Here’s what this creative father of four has to say:

“At least once a year, I dream up my ideal Father’s Day and grow one of those cartoon thought bubbles over my head. I imagine I’m one of the great heroes of husbandry and fatherdom, Dagwood Bumstead. I’d sit alone at the table in perfect silence, read the newspaper and eat a giant sandwich that stands about the height of my 2-year-old. Then I’d take a long, quiet afternoon nap on the couch. 

But it’s hard for me to imagine an ideal Father’s Day without the whole family there. You see, if it weren’t for those four beautiful, smart, fantastic, amazing and wonderful kids (I know my wife will be reading this to them), I wouldn’t get a day reserved for me. Here’s how my fantasy Father’s Day would play out. A sandwich and nap would simply need to be part of the equation.

It is not 5:45 a.m. and the baby is not crying. The 2-year-old is not shouting from his crib in the next room, ‘It’s morning time! I’m not tired, Daddy!’ There is not a 5-year-old sleeping in the bed next to me with mismatched pajamas after having had an accident in his own bed, and the 8-year-old is not complaining in the other room that she can’t sleep because of all the racket. Instead, I’m woken to warm rays of sunshine on my face and the gentle sound of birds singing in the trees outside (I mean, after all, this IS a fantasy, right?). 

The kids will reward my fatherhood with a collection of novelty T-shirts that I’d never be able to fit into. One would be the perfect size for the 8-year-old and would read, ‘Dads Rock!’ The 5-year-old’s shirt would say ‘My Dad’s the Best,’ the 3-year-old would don the ‘I Heart Daddy’ and the 5-month-old’s onesie would tell everyone that she’s ‘Daddy’s Little Angel.’ I’d swell with joy seeing them lined up in their new duds, and I’d seize any opportunity I could to take the brood into public to show off. ‘Looks like we only have 11 more eggs in the carton, honey. I better go get another dozen. Come on, kids, let’s go to the store!’

At the grocery store, the children would help gather the necessary ingredients for the world’s tallest sandwich. We’d get creative, too. Ours would have all the regular fixins and a few unconventional ones, too. Kids’ choice. Deli meats, cheeses, lettuce, tomato, asparagus, whipped cream, potato chips, coleslaw, spaghetti (and meatballs), pickles, barbecue sauce, white bread, wheat bread, rye bread, chicken nuggets. The list goes on.

Back at home, we’d begin construction. We’d photograph our effort after each milestone, marked by a new slice of bread laid upon the growing pile of delicious, tall goodness. Once it’s reached its height, we’ll stick a toothpick through a green olive and mount it to the top of the Dagwood. Do people put olives on the top of sandwiches in real life? 

Then, the whole family would dig in and we’d eat ourselves silly. 

Our collective bellies full, we would make one more sandwich: a family sandwich. My wife and I would be the bread and the four kids would be the stuff in between as we’d all snuggle together for a long afternoon family nap.   

Embracing the group as best as I could, I would be just barely drifting off to sleep when I would pause to open one eye and survey this little family of mine. I’d think to myself, ‘Yes, T-shirt. Dads rock. But families rule.’”

Patrick White is the founder of Socket-Lockits (www.socketlockits.com), a smart new electrical outlet cover with a lock that connects the cover to the outlet and is available in fun designs. Here’s what this West Chester, Pa., father of two has to say:

“I have to admit that no single idea jumps out at me when I think about what my ideal Father’s Day might be. I’m not really a ‘special day’ kind of person. But if I were granted that wish, I guess I could think of a couple of possibilities.

Some of my ideal Father’s Day ideas might not happen anytime soon, though I can still dream about them. For example, I’ve always wanted to go on an African safari. I can easily imagine myself floating down the Nile on some barge, taking pictures of the wildlife, drinking exotic brands of beer, smoking big cigars—like something out of an Ernest Hemingway story, except that unlike Hemingway, I probably wouldn’t feel the need to kill any of the wildlife I might see.

But given my commitments, my ideal Father’s Day would probably include many of the things that I already do with my family on most weekends. Those days usually start with me making pancakes with my two kids. They make a big deal about ‘helping Daddy’ out. My daughter, Audrey, jumps up and down when it’s time for us to start, then follows me around the kitchen as I put everything together. My son, Aidan, becomes my shadow later on, when it’s time for me to work outside. I’ve been building a new deck out back, and he’ll trail behind me while I work, a pencil tucked behind his ear, taking his own measurements. I look forward as much as he does to the day when he’s old enough to really help me out with those kinds of projects. I bought a boat not too long ago, and I also can’t wait to take him out crabbing and fishing when he’s old enough.

It would be nice to end a day like that by taking my wife, Mary, out for a nice romantic dinner. As I said before, it doesn’t really matter if there’s a day set aside just for me. As long as I could share that part of it with her, that Father’s Day would be special.”