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Empathy, kindness and respect—it's the triumvirate of qualities that we seek to foster
in our children. The reality is that, our best-laid plans aside, it's not always so easy to
do the things we need to do as parents to make these concepts a reality for our little
ones, especially since we're battling against a society that, in large part, seems to have
forgotten the importance of these virtues.
And when those virtues are forgotten, our children lose in a major way. They lose themselves, they lose their connection to something bigger than themselves, they lose their present and they lose their future.
Growing Up for Good is a nonprofit organization that's returning empathy, kindness, respect and all the promise that goes with them back to their rightful owners, aka children, complete with the essential tools they need to become confident, caring, considerate human beings with lasting ties to their families, their community and the world at large.
Here, Growing Up for Good founder Stephanie Rach-Wilson talks about how her organization is empowering 2- to 6-year-olds to live the good life.
THE FAMILY GROOVE: Why did you start Growing Up for Good?
STEPHANIE RACH-WILSON: I started Growing Up for Good because every child deserves to experience what is really essential in life: a nurturing environment full of multisensory experiences that will engage emotions and build character. These moments are simple but often overlooked or unattainable—a day in the park swinging, running along the whitewash at the beach, touching a slippery skink hiding under a log on the trail, or simply coloring on paper. I began working with young children when I was still a child and I was profoundly affected by some of my experiences and the realization that some children don’t go to the park or get to play in a safe environment.
TFG: Tell us about the name.
SRW: It embodies my childhood and how my parents raised their kids…and many of the kids in our neighborhood. Growing up with animals, you have this overpowering and innate sense to want to take care of everything; add to that my experiences with 4-H and community service and it just fits. The four H’s stand for head, heart, hands and health, and empower the spirit of respect for self, family and community. Growing Up for Good means you are giving of yourself for the goodness of others, but it also means you are taking a stand for being good.
TFG: Your mission is to create programs that inspire empathy, kindness and respect in children—three things that we, as a culture, in large part, have shifted away from. Why do you think that shift happened?
SRW: I think it has been a slow bubbling volcano for years as innovation and technology have misguided us into thinking we are “so busy,” which makes us (as parents) feel important, and the ever-present worry of “will my child be good enough?” The need to “be better and do more than ___” overrides the essential need to slow down and connect with your child; the latter is what confirms the characteristics you mention.
I think everything became magnified over the years—but I do believe people are saying “enough” today as well. The shift in the economy forced many dads back to the family table—it may seem stressful, but the opportunity for dads to be a part of fostering a conscientious child is a gift. Nurture empathy, kindness and respect and you will raise a good child who is empowered to do well in society.
TFG: You currently have two main programs: Natural Connections and The Paper Trail. How do they work?
SRW: Natural Connections supports underserved children with programs that offer a special focus on providing interactions with the environment for educational, physical and emotional enrichment. Everything is play-based and organic; the program has structure but is guided by the kids we engage with, be it in a classroom or community setting like a local park that the child, or parent, might not otherwise feel safe visiting. Our programs include music, stories and physical activities, which allow kids to hold hands and play. Multisensory activities that can engage a child emotionally will help foster greater empathy and compassion for the world around them. We currently are helping revitalize public parks, so look for some new additions to this program come spring!
The Paper Trail is something I’m very excited about! The goal is to reduce paper waste while increasing creativity in the classroom and community. It began when we were prepping to create nature journals with a preschool; I asked my printer if he could donate any paper, but then noticed that the recycle bins were full! The storage area was full! Perfectly good—unused—paper destined to be recycled because it was left over from various jobs. I filled my car with reams and reams in different sizes and colors and went home and called some schools. I was hooked, setting out to blaze a trail that would connect printers to their community by donating unused paper and supplies. Parents meet me everywhere for pick-ups, then set out to fill the shelves in schools and community centers. Literally, we distributed over 100,000 sheets the first month of school this year, from paper sheets for full-body tracing or drawing big trees to paper cut down and turned into flip-books, allowing children to create stories through pictures. Even the “trim” waste from print jobs (think of all those postcards you get in the mail—they came from much larger sheets of paper) are taken into aftercare centers so kids can weave place mats.
Many printers don’t want anyone to know what the true level of waste is, but with no size standards, you really can have significant waste—even when it’s a book about “being green”! Our hope is printers and paper manufacturers across the country will sign up and help schools receive supplies so desperately needed. Our goal is to take The Paper Trail national in 2012, and we have a turnkey program to help others implement it in their schools and communities.
TFG: Being mindful and present are the keys to real happiness. Being given the gift of awareness, especially when you are young, frees you up to thrive on all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. What are some day-to-day ways we can teach our kids to be mindful?
SRW: That is so true and here’s the aha moment: You don’t have to “teach”; you have to embrace your children and nurture their curiosity and thoughts. Stop what you are doing and get down on the floor and play. The simple act of showing you care shows mindfulness and kids will mirror your actions (if they can cradle a phone in their ear before they are 2, you know they can pick up on anything).
What many people/parents need to understand is our bodies are fully developed when we are born, but our brains are open and ready to explore and learn. So, what can you do? Repeat and reinforce. Practice caring and being present with your child. Do you say “uh-hum,” or are you really listening and asking questions that will guide their sensitivity? Research shows children are empathetic even before they can verbalize, because of their physical actions (Daddy says “ouch” and the 18-month-old kisses the boo-boo or picks something up that has dropped—that is sensitivity, understanding someone is in need).
I also always encourage parents to spend time with nature and animals because the moments are multisensory and engage children emotionally. When kids express a feeling, acknowledge it and praise the positive behavior; this will transition to relationships with peers and others and help in building friendships.
TFG: The lessons that we endeavor to relay to our children are important, but so are our own actions. We have to walk our talk. Period. What can we do to be more mindful and help to teach our children by example?
SRW: Oy, I can go on and on about this one! Children watch how parents engage, so show respect, welcome forgiveness and set boundaries. Also, allow your own faults to show through. A child must grow up knowing mistakes happen and that we strive to be the best we can be, but sometimes we falter. Open your doors to your neighbors, volunteer in your community, foster a greater sense of responsibility.
And the top three: Strive to have meals together. Breakfast is better than dinner in my opinion, as everyone is up and you are wishing everyone a great day, which is showing support, but anything that brings you to the family table is the goal. Play together. Just let go and dance, or go to the park, but be together and discipline yourself to put the phone down. And finally, cook together or read together!…Cooking and baking are so joyful, tactile and messy, and teach kids so much. Food revolves around ritual and traditions, so share your childhood stories—kids love this and you must be mindful or you’ll burn the cookies! And snuggling up and reading is physical—we are primal beings and our culture has grown fearful/suspect of physical connections, yet they are so necessary to help a child bond. Create a natural moment/ritual for bedtime and you have fostered such a huge level of trust. I still hop in bed with my oldest daughter and I’m amazed at what she will talk about; I feel so lucky that she is so very present, engaging and mindful of what it means to be a family.
TFG: Growing Up for Good, as an organization, is still in its infancy. Where do you see it when it's all grown up?
SRW: We are in our infancy phase and I plan on taking my time to grow up, as it’s so important to perfect the plan whether you are a for-profit or nonprofit company! We are in our second year and our Natural Connections program has touched thousands of kids. I see it growing and supporting other programs already established, like the Children & Nature Network and the National Recreation and Park Association. My goal is that The Paper Trail will roll into at least five new markets in 2012, but with parent enthusiasm it could be more. I’m loving the response right now and meeting so many parents who just say, “I’ll do that”…kids join in, everyone is connecting at such a young age, and it feels just like my 4-H days. Community served.
TFG: How can our readers get involved?
SRW: I so welcome the help. You can visit www.growingupforgood.org and send us an e-mail to connect or call 415.927.2398.
For more from Growing Up for Good, go to www.growingupforgood.org.
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