FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?
BABY SLEEP EXPERT KATHY SINCLAIR EXPLAINS ATTACHMENT PARENTING
AND PARENT-LED SCHEDULING
Not all parenting styles are alike. What individuals do as parents depends
on many factors, including how they were raised as a child, what they
observed in other families and what they have been taught. Two very
different styles have emerged: attachment parenting and parent-led scheduling (aka CIO or cry it out).
The Theory on Attachment Parenting (AP)
According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style that fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well-being.
The Theory on Parent-Led Scheduling
Experts who recommend specific parent-led schedules say these routines are based on years of observation of babies' natural rhythms and are appropriate for their development at various ages. When babies' days are very structured and predictable, advocates say, they fall into regular patterns more easily and sleep through the night sooner.
The Pros and Cons of AP
Pros:
- Feedings with love and respect.
- Responding with sensitivity.
- Uses nurturing touch.
- Ensures safe sleep, physically and emotionally.
- Provides consistent, loving care.
Cons:
- The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds, stating that the practice puts babies at risk of suffocation and strangulation.
- Attachment parenting can be very strenuous and demanding on parents. This is especially true if the parents are without a support network of helpful friends or family.
- Many experts feel that there is no conclusive or convincing body of research, aside from testimonials from participating parents, that shows this labor-intensive approach to be in any way superior to what attachment parents term “mainstream parenting.” This includes long-term studies as well.
- The AAP states that “co-sleeping” or the “family bed” can be dangerous to a new baby, who can be suffocated or crushed by the adult sleepers in the bed.
- Sleep experts also feel that this type of sleeping prevents children from developing the independence needed to sleep in their own bed as they get older.
Pros and Cons for Parent-Led Scheduling
Pros:
- A parent-led schedule removes any of the guesswork. It can establish order and a rhythm to the day that can be soothing and reassuring to a baby, as well as to mom, dad and caregivers. Those who've tried parent-led schedules and had success say their babies thrive on the consistency—sleeping through the night at an earlier age and acting happy and content when awake.
- For new parents, routines offer the reassuring promise that your baby will get enough sleep, food and stimulation—and that you'll get enough sleep and predictable breaks as well. They offer a very clear plan for your days with your baby, whereas your baby's doctor may give only general guidelines.
- Because parent-led routines are so consistent and predictable, some parents say the schedules make it easier to understand what their babies are really asking for when they cry.
Cons:
- Parent-led scheduling experts advise against purely on-demand feeding, in which you look just to your baby's cues to decide when it's time for a meal. Instead, they say to rely on their guidelines—as well as your baby's hunger cues and your common sense—to determine feeding times.
- On-demand feeding is a problem, they say, because inexperienced new parents may interpret nearly every baby cry as "feed me" rather than looking for other causes. Then both the baby and parents fall into an exhausting routine of constant feedings that last far beyond the newborn stage. Babies end up getting smaller snacks of breast milk rather than full feedings that include rich, satisfying hindmilk, these advocates say. They may also get less sleep because they’re still waking so often to nurse. Meanwhile, worn-out new moms may give up breastfeeding altogether.
- Some experts also say that on-demand feedings can lead to newborns being underfed because some sleepy babies won't wake to feed on their own.
I hope this has cleared up some of your questions—happy snoozing!
Kathy Sinclair, CNCS, CPD, CLE, CHBE, graduated from Australia’s prestigious Charlton Brown Nanny College and began her professional career as a nanny in 1993. Kathy developed her specialty with infant sleep while working as a newborn care specialist in Los Angeles. Currently the founder of Baby Sleep Solutions, Kathy provides one-on-one individualized sleep consultations, leads Mommy & Infant groups for new moms, and lectures on sleep in and around Los Angeles. She lives in Ventura, Calif., with her husband and three dogs. She may be contacted through her website at www.babysleepsolutionsla.com.
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