The Family Groove "Oh, The Places You'll Go"

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO

THE BUMPY ROAD OF PARENTHOOD IS FRAUGHT WITH ROADBLOCKS, MISSED EXITS AND HEAD-SPINNING ROUNDABOUTS THAT YOU JUST CAN’T SEEM TO GET OUT OF. HERE, THE FAMILY GROOVE TRACKS THREE MAJOR MILESTONES WITH THE HELP OF A PEDIATRIC DEVELOPMENTAL BEHAVIORAL HEALTH SPECIALIST—AND ANOTHER WELL-KNOWN DOCTOR OF SORTS.

The Milestone: No more pacifier

The Book: Horton Hatches the Egg
The Lesson: Be patient. Got a kid who won’t part with his paci? Just like Horton exhibited great patience while sitting on Mayzie’s egg, you must do the same. Patience is definitely needed when weaning a young child off his beloved binky—the process is gradual (read: often painfully slow).
The Expert: Dr. Weissman says that there is no set time to wean a child from his pacifier—but the longer the wait, the greater the risks. (Think: speech delays, dental problems and ear infections). A pacifier provides a calming peace in a chaotic situation for babies and infants, so the best method for weaning is to provide a transitional object like a doll, stuffed animal or blanket.

She suggests starting the weaning process in happy times of low stress, like during play or activities. In these moments, toddlers are engaged and occupied with learning and discovering life in their surroundings, so the pacifier is not needed. Dr. Weissman advises that after home use is conquered, parents turn their attention to eliminating the pacifier during outdoor use. She adds that when you take your toddler out for playdates and he sees his friends not using a pacifier, he may be more inspired to let go of his.

Most parents find that the greatest challenge is getting their children to sleep sans pacifier. Dr. Weissman’s advice is to “begin with naps and then deal with nighttime sleep, gradually decreasing the time the child spends with the pacifier until it is no longer needed. Sure, you may have a few sleepless nights—and don’t forget to make sure that a transitional object has been selected prior to starting the process.” Other helpful solutions for a smooth process include giving the pacifiers to a baby, having a goodbye pacifier party, or trading the pacifiers in for an upgraded big girl or boy toy at the store.

The Milestone: A totally potty-trained toddler

The Book: Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
The Lesson: Be encouraging. The protagonist in the book, You, experiences everything life has to offer: the ups, the downs, and the unexpected twists and turns. You conquers it all with the help of some loving encouragement.
The Expert: Dr. Weissman says that when helping your child transition from Pull-Ups to underwear, it is important that your child is having a daily soft stool or bowel movement, which will ease the toilet training process. If the toddler is constipated, she might withhold going or associate a negative feeling with going to the bathroom. To aid in natural stool softening, you can increase water intake and add more fiber-enriched fruits, vegetables and whole grains to her diet.

The doctor points out that during the potty-training process, toddlers shift in both physical development and environment. No longer being changed on a table in their rooms, they now have to deal with the training toilet (or actual toilet). Dr. Weissman encourages parents to get their toddlers involved in and acclimated to the process by having them choose their potty or seat. Then, integrate potty use into their daily activities, before baths or after meals.

“If the child is having regular BMs, can say how she feels, and knows that she needs to go, then she should go. But if there is resistance or the child is not as vocal but displays typical behavior, she can practice timed or un-timed sitting on the potty or toilet,” suggests Dr. Weissman.

Can’t get your little one to go? Dr. Weissman says, “If the child is in Pull-Ups and she is not vocal about when she needs to go, you can take her to the potty and she can sit on it in her Pull-Ups and go.” She adds that in the same way frequent flier miles provide incentive for people to fly more, reward systems encourage your toddler to use the potty frequently. For small victories, you can reward your child with a sticker or a token that she can use or trade in for something special at the end of the week.

Use each trip to the potty as a chance to teach good bathroom behavior: proper wiping methods, flushing the toilet (or dumping potty waste into the toilet) and hand washing. Once your child is staying dry for a few hours, you can start incorporating underwear. Dr. Weissman adds that to make this milestone more special, you can take the child to a department store to pick out her own underwear.

The Milestone: Junior sleeps in his bed—for the whole night

The Book: Dr. Seuss’s Sleep Book
The Lesson: Be consistent. All the families in this soporific world have a nightly routine. Getting ready for bed in the same manner each night makes kids feel safe and comfortable.
The Expert: Dr. Weissman thinks that consistency is key to a good night’s sleep for the characters in Sleep Book,and the same is true for your little one. “A sleep schedule decreases the anxiety toddlers experience that may prevent them from falling and staying asleep,” Dr. Weissman says. She adds that a nighttime routine could be something like the following: stop the TV or high activity an hour before your child’s bedtime, give him a bath, have some family time, help him get dressed for bed and, finally, read books to him in his bed. Note: in his bed! If you put your child to bed in the same manner each night, he is more likely to fall asleep quickly and easily. A child’s bedroom should have everything in it to make him feel comfortable, loved and safe, and bedtime activities that are held in the room will reinforce that atmosphere. Avoid having your toddler fall asleep with the TV or radio on. The TV and radio can create instability and anxiety because of their changing content and may cause a child to be overstimulated and wake up during the night. Dr. Weissman adds, “Make sure your child goes to bed and wakes up at the same time seven days a week—including on the weekends and holidays—to keep the schedule going.”

—Monique M. Johnson

Monique M. Johnson is a freelance writer based out of New York City.