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I am a super Bravo junkie.
After 18 hours of modern-day parenting—e.g., morning mayhem,
meal after meal after meal, drop-offs, pickups, work, bills, laundry,
sight words, defiance, tears (theirs and sometimes mine), crayons
on the glass doors, lots of spilled milk, work, dinnertime protests, bath, bedtime and more work—Bravo trumps even wine when it comes to decompressing—and it has far fewer calories. Score. Really, it is a delight to get lost in those worlds, in the lives of those otherwise complete and total strangers who we now know more intimately than our own friends and just forget about your to-do list, the dust bunnies, the deadlines, the gym that you skipped, the roots that need doing and the constant am-I-messing-up-my-kid thinking that we all trip on daily.
One such sanity-saver (and liver-saver) is Ryan Brown from Bravo's hit show Flipping Out. The calm, cool and collected business partner of the raging perfectionist that is Jeff Lewis, Ryan, who started out as a real estate developer, also has a thriving interior design business (www.browndesigninc.com) with his brother, a 3-year-old daughter with his partner and some newfound insight into how to keep the chic in your life now that you're a parent.
Here, Ryan opens up about his life in the 'hood, parenthood.
Hanging in the Balance
JILLIAN SWARTZ: You have a lot on your plate: You're running a design firm, restoring homes and appearing on Flipping Out—how do you balance it all? Or, perhaps better said, do you balance it all?
RYAN BROWN: Well, you know something has to come off the plate at some time, and lately, it's been exercise.
JS: Oh, this is a story I know all too well.
RB: I try my best to squeeze it in, but just this morning, I was thinking that I can go early this morning but then I am not going to get to see Chloe before I go to work. I know that there are ways to fit everything in, but it's really a matter of trying to get on schedule and stay on schedule. I am a pretty scheduled person. The most important things in my life are work and family, so that's what takes precedence. If I have time to squeeze the other stuff in, great—and if not, that's going to be okay, too.
JS: That's an important point to make. I think we all put so much pressure on ourselves. At THE FAMILY GROOVE, we always say that balance is a myth, but if you can find harmony with things, you'll be fine. Most days, you find yourself upside down; you're walking on your hands instead of your feet and scrambling to figure out what's up and what's down, but that's the life of a busy parent, so as long as you can sync up with a groove, you're going to be A-OK.
Thoroughly Modern Dad
JS: What surprises you the most about fatherhood?
RB: Time allocation. Just the amount of time that little ones take up—and it's a great thing. I am not saying it's a bad thing; it's wonderful but still surprising. Everyone said that when your kid comes, she comes first and any selfish tendencies that you might have had need to be set aside. And that's true. The other thing is the very clichéd how-much-this-is-going-to-change-your-life-for-the-better. I would have never thought I could have loved something so much. Any moment that I get a chance to spend with Chloe, I cherish it.
JS: Any plans for more children?
RB: Not right now. My partner and I go back and forth—sometimes I am leaning toward more and sometimes he is. It's really interesting: The one-child family was not all that common back when we were growing up. But now, there are so many of our friends, people that Chloe goes to school with and other families that we're close to, who are just having one child. I think it's becoming more of the norm. So, I feel like there's less pressure to have more kids. I love being with her so much—I mean, I don't know. We'll see where it goes.
JS: I think it's a very modern decision and I think that for a lot of reasons it makes sense for so many people, financially, environmentally, emotionally and spiritually. Nowadays, people are much more in tune with what they can give—and I don't mean only financially—on a human level. They know their strengths and they know their weaknesses and they are making decisions from a point of strength and intelligence versus from preordained societal norms—this is how many kids you will have and this is where you'll live now and this where you'll live later. It's just a different paradigm nowadays.
RB: Jillian, that was very eloquently put. Can you just use your words instead of mine?
JS: Sure. There you go. I can be your ghost speaker in the interview.
JS: What advice do you give other dads—if any?
RB: That's interesting. I would say that I give them the same advice that I give myself, which is: Try to spend as much time with your children as possible in those early years. I am a big believer, in terms of their spiritual growth and their development in general, that those first three years are the most crucial years. I feel very lucky that Dale was able to stay home and raise her. We made that decision early on and I think it was probably one of the best ones we could ever have made. So, in general, it's important to spend as much time as you can with your kids. I know that not everyone has that luxury and, if you don't, much like I don't, then try to make the time that you are spending with your kids quality time.
Design of the Times
JS: Good advice!
RB: You know, put the computer down, turn the TV off…
JS: (Sigh.) Yeah, put the computer down. I've been thinking that my son is probably going to think that all adults come with their own computer—like how Barbies come with their own accessories, parents come complete with computers. Oh boy. But anyway, that's my own issue. Let's talk about you and you as a designer. Obviously, you have a finely tuned aesthetic. How have you had to alter or adapt it now that Chloe is 3? She's obviously running around and touching stuff and getting into things. How do you handle that—without cordoning off entire areas of your house?
RB: We absolutely do not cordon off certain areas of the house. I am firm believer that that should never be the case in anyone's home. I will admit that I used to work very differently than I do now. Most of our clients are in their 30s and 40s and either have kids or are about to have kids. So, we need to make their homes kid-friendly. Having Chloe has been a growing experience, which has helped me to know what to do and what not to do and how to design for children in the home. I really think that when you make a room off-limits to a child, the repercussions are twofold: It becomes a room that you're then not going to use and it's going to be a room that they're going to want to get in even more. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment. I believe that all rooms should be great for everyone in the family. It's just a matter of changing the way we look at things. Our aesthetic in terms of fabric has changed, so rather than using, say, a linen that's just going to get stained or something like a silk that isn't going to wear quite as well, we'll go into blends that are more commercial-grade fabrics or Sunbrella fabrics, the outdoor fabrics, to upholster pieces with because they hold up remarkably well and have tremendous stain-resistant characteristics.
JS: Wow. That's a good tip!
RB: I have a sofa in my—you know the way that architecture is going now with that great room style where the kitchen and family room are combined?—so I have a sofa in my kitchen, and oftentimes, we'll use Sunbrella fabrics for something like that on the pieces that are going to get used the most, like your dining room chairs and great room sofas. If it can hold up outdoors and withstand Mother Nature, then it can withstand your children.
JS: I love that. I want to do that! So, on that tip, talking about modern kid-friendly design for the entire home, in addition to what you just said, what other trends/looks/ideas are you loving right now?
RB: As far as trends, everyone loves to get that hot piece of advice—what's the next up-and-coming thing?—but I think that with interior design you can only reinvent the wheel so many times. We're really more about having a classic look and bringing in new elements that are fun that people don't necessarily do, especially in their kids' rooms. For example, if you have a J-box in the ceiling for lights, that's a great place to bring in something interesting instead of some boring flush-mount fluorescent light fixture. I love going to flea markets, secondhand stores and vintage shops to find a cool piece that can immediately transform the look of a kids’ room. It's one of those areas that's oftentimes overlooked and it's an easy way to make a change. The other thing is go for brighter window coverings. A lot of times, people will go for very simple blinds or something like that, but it's relatively inexpensive to go online or to go to some of the great moderately priced outlets like Restoration Hardware or Pottery Barn and find a cool Roman shade or set of drapes for the kids’ room to liven it up a bit.
JS: What do you think of the trends like stripes or animals or wall decals or stencils? It does (or should) come down to what you like—because you have to look at it all the time. In terms of a classic design, what do you like?
RB: It might sound odd, but we bring a sophistication to a child's room—and that doesn't make it boring; it makes it even more interesting for you to hang out in. Really, if I had to look at Winnie the Pooh wallpaper all day long, it would drive me crazy. For me, it's about picking something that's whimsical but at the same time has an aura of class to it. We use a lot of wallpapers in our children's rooms, especially on the upper half of the room, and we use a wainscoting or molding on the bottom part of the wall, maybe up to 42" off the ground. So that way, the wall is kind of protected and if they get crayon on it, it's painted and you can wash it off. And then you wallpaper the upper half of the room, which also saves some cost. I think that that's a fun way of bringing something modern and interesting into the room.
JS: It seems to me then that when you design for a nursery, it's classic and timeless, so you can easily transition into a big-kid's room. You know, you take the crib out, you put the bed in and you're there. So it's really cost-effective in the long run.
RB: Exactly. The whole point is that you don't have to redo it every couple of years when they go from Dora to Handy Manny if you stay away from the trendy stuff and stick with the classics. It's just really easy; it always looks great and you can switch out the lesser-expensive things like toys and books and things like that as opposed to having to redo the whole room. Even with my daughter's room right now, when she switched out of a crib, I got a very cost-effective purchase that I think was from Restoration Hardware. It was really more like a teenage bed, but it had these great cubbies and nooks in it. It's a daybed, but I can make it whimsical and age-appropriate with her bedding so that it grows with her. I don't have to go out and buy another bed when she's over the princess fairy tale stage.
JS: Is there a specific line of kids' bedding that you love?
RB: I actually just bought something that I am thrilled with. It's Lulu DK Matouk; it's a collaboration. They've come up with this really great kids’ bedding that I can't wait to use.
So Fresh, So Clean!
JS: So, thank goodness, it's spring, finally. In terms of spring-cleaning your design aesthetic, what would you tell a client to toss or replace this season?
RB: Toss the predictable toy box. I really try never to use an obvious toy box. I love being able to find baskets that have lids or tops of some sort. It's a more sophisticated look, but it doesn't make it not child-friendly, and that's a little bit more unexpected than the brightly colored obvious toy box in a room. What I love about that is that then I can put that toy basket in my living room or in the bedroom or just about anywhere and it doesn't stand out when the toys are tucked away in there. I think that's one thing that people should consider doing. Another thing, in terms of tossing, is what I mentioned before: If you have really boring blinds or shades, get something with some color or some pattern and let that be an eye-popping part of the room.
JS: Let's talk small changes, big results. If you had, say, $500 to freshen up your home, what would you do?
RB: One thing that I think can bring a huge transformation to a room is a new rug. A lot of what I work with is wood flooring, but even if you don't have wood flooring, you can put a rug on top of another rug. It's a great way, in the kids' room or in the family room, to change the overall look of the room right away. And there are so many great ones, at stores like West Elm, that would easily fall well under that $500 budget, so you could go out and purchase things like throw pillows or some other little accent pieces that are easy to switch out season after season or whenever you get the urge to. If you have good throw pillow inserts, all you have to do is buy the covers for them and that will help freshen up the room.
To Market, To Market
JS: A lot of people want to put their house on the market in the spring. What do you recommend that people do to get their houses ready 
to sell?
RB: This is probably not what you were thinking, but I always say that if you are going to put your house on the market, get a really good friend, sit him down and say, "You're not going to hurt my feelings; tell me what I need to do to my house." When you have lived in a house for so many years, you stop being able to see the things that the house needs (the leaky faucet, the dead plant out in the front yard). You only have one chance to make an impression on a buyer and so you have to grab him right away. The house has to look perfect, so that's a good way to really see what your house needs. Beyond that, the usual things that are quick and easy, everyone knows: Make sure your house is painted well and there aren't gouges in the wall. I would also say that things that you touch like doorknobs or kitchen faucets, make sure they're not loose or falling off because when people walk through, they will notice that. Those kinds of things are big indicators that may cause people to question the quality of the home. And things like that can be fixed pretty quickly over the weekend by someone who is somewhat handy.
JS: Anything to avoid—just don't waste your money on?
RB: Don't waste your money on painting really specific colors because color is such a subjective thing and oftentimes some people will love a color and other people will hate it, or have a strong reaction to it. It's best to stay neutral with the color palette of a house you are trying to sell.
JS: Your home is your biggest expense; it's where you spend the majority of your time. It speaks to you and about you and for so many people, once they have kids, just like they let themselves go, they let the house go. How do you maintain your aesthetic once you become a parent?
RB: One thing that we've chosen to remember is that, essentially, your children are becoming part of your life, not the other way around in certain respects. I feel that as a happy adult, ultimately, I am going to raise a happy child. So, I think that putting your spouse or partner first is great thing because I think it teaches the child that that's what a healthy relationship is—that's not to say that you're neglecting the child, obviously. In the same vein, if you take care of your home and you take care of the way you look, your child is raised with that as the norm. I think that keeping a nice tidy house that I love to be in makes me a happier person and at the end of the day makes me a better parent.
For more from Ryan, go to www.browndesigninc.com.
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